I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
