i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
