She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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