there's paper in my vomit.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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