I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
