I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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