Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
