2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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