I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
