She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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