she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
