And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
