Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
