my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
