Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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