I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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