Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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