I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
