It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
