She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
