Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
