So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
