why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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