I think I died a long time ago.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
