im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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