I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Less talking, more tequila
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
