Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
