I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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