If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
