What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize