Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
