You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
