Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Randomize
