sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
