the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
