you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
