the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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