discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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