Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Blow job season was short but glorious.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
