I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
