maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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