I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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