I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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