Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Umm I'm too high to move.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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