This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
