Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
