I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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