my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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