I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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