people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
