He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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