Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Semen is not good for contacts.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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