just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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