As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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