i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
