yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
