Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
