So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
