Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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