I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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