For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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