Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
