Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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