barbara walters just said penis...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
