And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
