SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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