I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I love you. Go after that dick
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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