WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
