i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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