They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
