When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
