Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
