just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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