i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Drunk is not a location!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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