Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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