i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
