he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
