Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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