you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
