never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
